Confessions from a Witch with a B

Like many great revelations to be had, mine was in the shower. As high school goes on, I've become more bitchy. Whether it's hormonal or stress related or just a turn of events, it's true.

Last year I was called mean more times than I can ever remember being called before. Granted, most of them were jokes, and I'm not super nice, I know this, it just seems to be getting worse. Already this year I can tell it's getting worse.

I chose to make an effort to be blunt, and not care what people think. The sarcasm, I chose. What I chose, I often become. So now I'm choosing differently.

I can still be honest and sarcastic. I'm just going to make an effort to actually think before I say. Ironic coming from a girl that overanalyzes everything. But, apparently, her words.

So confession: I've been becoming a bitch.
Another confession: With a bit of luck, that'll change.

Uncle, the Wonder Student

So I found something kind of funny out today. My uncle and I are basically taking the same course for English. Granted, his is at an actual college, but other than that, nothing is different.

Of course, I was helping him with his homework today. I find this kind of fun. I'm helping a forty year old man with how to write a descriptive essay.

But, he wanted to go back to school to become a nurse. And he had to take this composition course. I give him props for doing it. It's difficult to go back to school after all those years, especially if you don't particularly like school.

It's nice to know that education isn't all that different, whether you're sixteen or fortysomething.

Dear Mrs. World

Dear Mrs.World,
Just don't expect too much of me, kay? I have many faults, and here is my attempt at being humble.

I don't have my shit together, even if some think I do. I worry constantly, analyze everything, and hardly ever get real things done. If I did, I would be doing a lot better in school. No, not grade wise, but learning wise.

Mrs. World, I would love to be a decent, moralistic person. For the record, I am not. I won't ever be as compassionate as Mother Theresa, as brave as Ghandi, as bold as Gloria Steinem. I lie, I cheat, I take gum from my brother. I am not humble, I know where I have strengths. I'm arrogant, but often I have low self esteem.

Mrs. World, as for my one true strength, I can read. But I don't choose to read the great classics. I love romances. I love that so-called "literary trash". But it isn't junk, not always. Granted, I wouldn't read it if you're trying to avoid certain sins, but... There are life lessons somewhere in there, and being the hopeless romantic that I am, I seek them out.

So you see, put pressure on me if you like. But I won't be at fault for my failure to do what you except Mrs. World. I am human, I am flawed. I am conceited enough to call myself that.

You want humble? Go ask someone else. You want math help? Go ask someone else. Want to discuss Meg Cabot's latest book? That I can help you with.

Sincerely,
M.A.M.

Coming Full Circle

I don't feel old anymore. I don't feel young. I just feel like...myself. There's disappointments and accomplishments, hopefully more of the latter.

School brings me back every time, no matter how much summer throws me off.

I'm not afraid this year. Go ahead, deal it out. I'm ready this year.

Change...or Not

Not much has changed at school since last June. A little more work, but it's basically last year, but better. I have no reason to worry about my APs except the exam. I didn't know last year could be better. Oh, and Andrea and Tenki are so cute!

This year is gonna be great. But I'm sensing the need for some serious breaks now and then. I wanna hit Chicago again this winter. And a couple colleges. Costa Rica in the spring... Being able to drive myself places... I could go to college campuses myself!

There is so much to plan...YES!

And So It Ends...

Yeah, summer is almost over. But I've been pretty much feeling like I should be back at school anyways since it's so late compared to normal.

I'll be honest, I've been dreading junior year. And then I started my summer reading and such. It's actually doable! Granted, I may fail all my classes, but at least I won't fail them because I couldn't do it. But then what would I fail them for...? Hmm...maybe pulling a Columbine? I'd rather not, I don't feel depressed.

Things are good actually. Life is pretty fabulous. I'm going to need to stop going to bed really late, but I'll adjust. Considering where things were a year ago, well anything can be better than that.

So is it bad to say that I'm excited for school? Yeah, I'd love a couple more weeks of summer, but I kinda want to learn again. Even math. That's crazy, right?

I'm a little scared about failing things, but at the same time, I'm ready to prepare myself wrong. Surely I can at least get a D in AP Euro...