Belief, Religion, & All that Jazz!

So, this entry has been sparked by yet another argument with my mother about church.

I am not a fan of church.

I'm jealous of all those people that can be so crazy devoted to a religion. (Well, except the terrorist/Muslim extremist types)

I just sometimes wish I could believe this things without doubting everything and sleeping during Mass and such.

I mean I can't even remember to stay away from what I gave up for Lent! (unless I'm around awesome people that are remembering)

I think the worst part of all is teaching little kids about Catholicism, but then not believing most of it myself. I feel like such a fake. I'm so detached from it, I could be teaching them math. I think I believe more in Elizabeth I and Gloria Steinem than the Apostles and Saints.

I wish I had the devotion I had when I was in 6th grade, before I turned into a bratty, sarcastic teenager. Maybe, if that happened, I wouldn't want to convert to Judaism or go Buddhist.

Already Written in the Stars

The URL for my blog means something to me. I believe that on some level, either by God, fate, ourselves, or some other force, our destinies are already written out. Yes, they can change, but there's something or someone out there that ultimately already knows whats going to happen, at least roughly. Depending on the day, mood I'm in, or what is going on in my life, I don't always believe it's God doing this. But I always, always believe in fate. I think our lives have literally been written, or spelled out somewhere in the universe. The details aren't there. Our lives are a rough sketch until we live out the details. I believe that ultimately, we are already written in the stars, whether we like it or not.