Grandpa Ed

I was listening to a conversation that my parents were having about their dads (with have both already died) as we drove home from Canada today. And I found out something that changed my opinion a little bit about my Grandpa Ed.

See, he had six kids (my mom and her five brothers) and a wonderful, but rather afraid wife. He was a Detroit cop, served in the military, and definitely a straight laced guy. Up into this point, I've hated him. I haven't really met the man, he died when I was two. But I hated him just the same.

He was an abusive alcoholic who made his wife afraid, screwed up his eldest son, and did countless other things. My grandmother is amazing, and to think that someone treated her like he did for forty years just about kills me. He also gave her emphysema, she never smoked a day in her life, but he sure did.

His family don't acknowledge this too much. Only good memories really get mentioned, or things that don't involve him. Until now, I wrote him off as all bad. Because in my world, you do that to someone, and you don't get forgiven.

But then I learned that he could draw.

Why does this change anything? It's the first time I felt connected to him. No one else in my family is remotely artsy but me.

So I listened to my mom's stories a bit more, and gave it some thought. He wasn't all bad, all the time. He was still horrible, but I have begun to realize that just because he was horrible, it doesn't mean that he made their lives horrible. Only parts of it. He wasn't all evil.

I still hate him. But at least now he's finally family.

Picnic

I've wanted to go on a picnic forever. So I am today, with Nate. Granted, it's also 60 degrees and wet out. Not what I was hoping for.

But I did find a picnic basket my parents got for a wedding present. It's still unopened, and my parents have been married almost 20 years. Jeez.

But I'm hoping that eating in the rain is fun. We'll see!

Getting Angry

Okay, I don't get mad that often. I don't get mad sometimes even when people deserve it. But I'm mad right now.

How can you go and change something right before it's due? That's horrible! I already have some of the QB stuff done (which is weird for me) and now Peter changes it? Ergh!!! He had ALL summer to change it! Plus a couple weeks before that! And he waits until it's a week and a half before school starts?

I am not happy right now. Not happy one bit. I asked earlier if that's all he wanted me to do. Back in June, actually. And apparently that was.

Now, he cuts what I have done, and gives me something else. Really? Really?

I have a ridiculous amount to do. Yes, part of it is because I waited until August. But I'd be busy without him switching it on me. I'm glad he didn't change the part I did in June too.

I don't even have time to be blogging right now. ERRRR!!! I feel like ripping him apart with my teeth.

(P.S. I'm sorry if you love Peter, but he's pissing me off right now)

I'm an Annoying Teenage Driver

I'm a teenager. With a driver's license. It's about time!

My schedule is pretty cool. Not necessarily easy, but cool. I have Bryen for four classes. Well three, but AP Euro is two semesters so... But I can't wait! Yeah, it's hard and I have a lot of shit to do before school even starts. But that doesn't mean it won't be the best year ever.

Plus I can drive. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

Who I Am

Adolescence is supposed to be about finding your identity and your role in the world. We're supposed to decide on careers, plan for our futures, and utilize our education to prepare ourselves for the road ahead. At least that's what everyone tells us.

But how can I do that when there's so little I've seen and experienced? I keep thinking that I know myself pretty well. But I'm not so sure I do.

As time goes on, there's events or experiences that'll happen that sometimes change my opinion of things. And sometimes I'll change my mind back to the original idea, sometimes I won't.

But if I keep changing my mind and my principles, how do I ever actually find out who I am?

I feel like I keep losing myself as life gets more complex and serious. In this crazy world, I'd love for something to be realible, but apparently it won't be me that is.

Adjectives

I love adjectives, I use them excessively in my writing and conversation. They're just fun.

But when people ask me how Japan was, I draw a blank. They're looking for a couple words, maybe a sentence on the topic. I think I could write a book on all my opinions on different aspects of Japan.

If I'm being honest, Japan wasn't all good, and it wasn't all bad.

The food there was a challenge for me. Naturally I'm a picky eater, but I went ahead and tried most of the foods that I came in contact with. Most of the things were okay, but I did end up sick a couple times during the trip, plus I began to miss American food. I had some issues with the slimy texture of the food. Plus I missed fruit and vegetables (they are very expensive in Japan due to lack of land).

It was relatively easy to get around Japan. Most signs are in Japanese and English, plus I had a set of translators (my Japanese friends) to help me out.

I was surprised by a lot of things.

• How crazy some of the people dress there, puts any "original" people here to shame, it's awesome.
  
• How much people are judged by appearances there.
  
• Some classic sexism straight from 1950s America in regards to expectations of women (it took a lot not to complain).
  
• The amazingly high tech toilets. And the annoying squat toilets.

All in all, I think I learned a ton about another culture. Things I wouldn't realize or learn otherwise. I could totally pass a Japanese culture course. But no so much the language part. Yo puedo hablar espanol y ingles solemente.

It was crazy different and fun and full of new experiences. I'll definitely be back. But I'm glad to be home.

The Moment I Realized

I was in a ryokan in Nara off the side of a mountain, staring out on the night cityscape. Some couple passed by me, hand in hand, and I realized that it would be nice to have someone to share it with. That's when I realized that I love him.

It Happened in Tokyo

So it's finally dawning on me how awesome it is to be able to say that I'm in Tokyo. But other things have dawned on me too.

Like the fact that my family and I speak like five words of Japanese. Thankfully, we have two more days and the rest of the trip is with our Japanese friends, so we're okay then. And a lot of signs are in English. Without that, we'd be screwed over so badly...

And going to the bathroom is a new experience. Every time I go to a new one, it's a matter of choosing which button flushes versus using the bidet or heating the seat or something. It's crazy and high tech and kinda fing awesome.

That I'm in the biggest city in the world, but it's incredibly safe. And I think I've figured out why. They're too damn busy to commit crimes

But Japan is awesome.