The Dog Days Are Over...The Dog Days Are Done....

I feel fabulous.  Not quite as fabulous as Kurt, but perhaps Mercedes, which is a close second.
I like deciding that I'm making life choices.
I like even more when I'm  deciding to follow through with them.
I like getting money from colleges.

In the past two days, I have received scholarships and admissions from two schools, and was deferred from another.  The deferral, of course, was from the one I thought I really wanted to go to.  But the scholarships give me some options.  And I'm sort of excited.

At this time next year, I could live in Greencastle, Allendale, Lincoln Park/Chicago, or Pittsburgh.  I'll hear back from Ann Arbor in April.  But right now, it looks like Lincoln Park or Allendale (I'm refusing to consider U of M until I actually hear news from them one way or another).

But I'm excited!  I'm definitely going to a college next year!  And it might be out of state, squee!

As much as I love high school, this is going to be my least favorite spring semesters.  All the others were better.  So, just let me skip to graduation, okay?

Wait...do I want to be a college student yet?  I turn 18 in less than a month.  Good Lord, I'm scared to grow up.

I Feel Content

It finally feels like senior year.  And I feel like myself.  My sophomore, junior self, minus some of the depression.  I feel pretty good right now.

Maybe it's because Thanksgiving is almost here and soon, Christmas.

Maybe it's because I'm excited about college.

But maybe?  I'm just happy.

I know where I want to be next year.  I'm happy about college.  I'm not stressing over the small things.  And I know at the very least that I have a great back up school.

Some little things have changed in my life.  I'm back to some old behaviors.  But old isn't always bad.  It's predictable, I know how I'll feel about things.  And I've accepted that whatever happens, will happen.

I have one foot in the old, one in the new.  How long before I get to do the splits?

(Oh, and I remember why I used to love HP now!!!  Fanfiction time.  Care to recommend any?)

College is Going to Kill Me

I just recently got my ACT scores back. They're not as high as I wanted, but they could be much worse too. So I started looking at colleges I could get into with this score. And I'm a bit surprised as to what I could get into.

So then I decided to try to pare down college choices by looking at majors. Which is a whole different ballgame. And I ended up pretty much where I started. I think....that I am going into architecture. Which means that I'll be doing A LOT of math. Yuck. I'll get over that.

So this helped, because there aren't all that many colleges that have architecture schools.

But, all these choices, all these decisions, it's going to kill me. I obsess too much about it.

I've been losing sleep over it. I'll probably have a crazy breakdown from all the pressure I put myself through.

I really look forward to a great future. I know that I won't fall flat on my face. But if I want a great future, I feel all this pressure to figure it out now. And I'm not so sure I can make all the decisions I need to. I already messed myself up in math.

Maybe college won't kill me. But there's a chance the pressure will.