Gotta Love the Irony Folks

I love irony in life. It makes things funny. At least for me. I started thinking about it, and it is a damn long list. But then again, some of these are just opposites:

• My mom the observant nurse misses things like where her shoes are.
• I've been missing my straightener for months because a friend borrowed it-whose hair is now too short to actually USE it.
• How cocky I act to hide varying (often low) levels of self esteem.
• How I can be so book smart, but miss obvious things.
• How I love that I don't have any irrational fears. Except for the fear of developing one.
• That I hate really, really crappy writing, but I'm addicted to it anyways.
• How many people go to church every Sunday not believing
• How many child molesters are "stand-up" citizens
• How open minded America is supposed to be now with a black President. (Then why is "gay" and "retarded" still used negatively?)
• That I go into things knowing what will happen, then let myself do it anyways.
• My brother is afraid of being called gay, doesn't talk to girls, and spends more time on his hair than I do.
• That I hate stereotyping, but totally use it for the rah-rah girls and ugh! boys.
  
• That I want stiletto heels, but can't walk long distances in them (more than 20 yards).
• That I'm terrified of becoming old, but I'm always counting down to the next big thing in my life.
• That what I want now is attainable, but I'm too chicken to go for it.
• That I'm crazy, but I still haven't bothered to call up a shrink.
  

Maybe I'm just a hypocrite, because most of these are about me. But if I am, then the rest of the world is going down with me. Doublethink, anyone?